Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
