Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
