We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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