i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
