so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
it was like eating out sand paper
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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