Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
