He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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