I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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