Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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