Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
