So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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