A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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