I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
