you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
