Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
handjob tips. give me some.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
