Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
