If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
