I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
