she was so not down for the gang bang
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
