Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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