I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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