It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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