Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
