Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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