Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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