there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
