Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
