Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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