Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
