She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i will never coherently bang her
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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