I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We have so much sex to catch up on
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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