wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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