i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
