She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
