So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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