it's too hot outside to masturbate.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
