PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
