it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
