found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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