For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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