First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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