plz talk dirty to me
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
