So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We have started to decorate penises.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
