i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
