Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
