Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
