Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
