You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
