i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
