Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Well I just put wine in my tea
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
