i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Randomize
