I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
