Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
