Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
