I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
