I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
